every day is a {new} blank page

My last day of work in this long work week.

A venti latte with an extra shot.

A mind full of ideas.

A heart full of desires.

Feeling nostalgic yet resolute,

void of deadlines or numbers,

with my pen to the paper and no chances to second guess

I made a list.

Be good to my body.

Be kind to my heart.

Pray (daily)

Write (often & honestly)

Smile (more)

Create (beauty)

Be thankful

&

Remember that every day is a new blank page in the story that is my life.

Each new page cannot exist without the one before it.

to me

to you

to a new year

Spread {your} wings

Creativity has finally bled out of my hands. 

It's been bottled up inside by something, I can't say what, 

but it refused to be grounded tonight.

I love this piece!

1. Spread your wings

2. Fly

(Ledge optional)

~ Lauren 

Dear {me}

Dear Friday, I have about 3 minutes to write this before I have to get ready for dinner in Downtown Disney, catered by our law firm, the annual appreciation dinner for the conference of the largest employee union in the United States.  This is not to tout my privileged  but to mark the occasion.  Good, bad, or indifferent, this is my reality. Right now, today, this night, and this weekend. This is my life and I swear, I am trying my hardest to live IN it and not in the what-ifs of the past or the fears and question marks of the future. It's not as glamorous as it sounds but I'm here for a reason. Dear Cinderella, Pluto, Sully, Mater, Jessie, and a few other friends, thanks for taking pictures with me. I am just a big kid at heart. Characters are meant to be in pictures often and always. Dear Southwest Airlines, thanks for the incredible sale and for getting me to Salt Lake City in January.  Just so you know, I titled the itinerary The World Is Your Stage.  Dear Jake Owen, keep playin', you have a permanent spot on the soundtrack of my dreams. Dear Me, stop thinking about everything so hard. 
Dear Lord, just keep listening cause I need to keep talking to you. I have a lot of questions and a lot of worry that I just can't seem to get rid of.  

Dear Friday {Life Goes On}

Dear Friday, 

Where do I start?  

(sigh)

I don't know what's wrong with me, I hear this blog calling me and I have things to say but there's some defiant little self-sabotaging brat that keeps coming along and kicking me in the literary shins. 

I'm not any closer to choosing a new direction.  

I have this tick-tock calling of something (what?!)

something new that keeps nagging at me. 

I wake up dreaming of a life other than the one I'm living in...

But I'm in the life that I'm in right now, 

in the time that I'm in right now, 

in the place that I'm in right now

for a reason right now. 

Trust the journey. Isn't that what they say? 

(Who the heck are they anyways?)

Earlier this week, I googled "the best decision I've ever made"  and it gave me this answer.  A literary spunkarella that drew me in with her creative prowess.  Hooked.  I emailed her. I know she's part of my journey somehow. 
What did I tell her?  That I feel like I'm not even at a fork in the road.  I'm at a 20-lane intersection, clear of traffic, and green lights in all directions.  Standing there, directionless, the world at my feet but with an uncalibrated compass in one hand  and the map from the glove box of the Griswold family station wagon in the other. 
I feel like there's no cohesion, no lines, no boundaries,  and the expectations are blurry.  Yeah. Blurry.  I'm having a hard time focusing. 
Even now, it's not even Friday still in some parts of the country.  Hell for that matter, in some parts of the country there aren't even lights or heat or comfort.  I can't even get the Dear Friday letter in on time. 
Those are my thoughts, but what's happening in my life?  Well, one thing that is most than and more than worthy of mentioning. I've written about it before, but I thought I'd have more time to prepare my thoughts. 


LAST Friday, when I was going to reintroduce myself to this weekly,  a text message pulled/ripped/yanked me out of bed after just one hour of sleep.
Uncle Mickey passed away at 827 this morning. 
Whaaat?!  They said 3-6 months. We had what? 8 weeks?  He was just at lunch yesterday. I didn't go.  I thought I could just see him the coming weekend.  I called him the afternoon before to tell him that I'd see him soon.  He didn't answer.  The events of that day are imprinted on my mind and in my heart.  The scene that replayed itself every time another family member arrived to say their goodbye.  That's a blog with a it's very own blood shot, tear stained, big & beating emotional heart. 

In my family, we have a strong Christian faith.   We believe in the Lord God and in eternal life.  We mourn for our missing of one of the best  brothers, uncles, fathers, friends you could imagine  but we don't fall into sorrow worrying about his soul.  We prayed he would go before the pain set in and made his last days agonizing. Our prayers were answered.  It was quick and merciful. 
So...death is a part of life.  And life goes on. 
My week went on this week. Uncle Mick was one of my biggest cheerleaders,  so I didn't let him down. I did my monthly run, a 5K at Folsom Lake.  My first significant activity on my bum knee.  I made it - wet, sandy, muddy, slow, and lopsided, but I made it  and earned my favorite finisher's medal to date.

Wednesday was Halloween, I busted out a creative makeup muscle ...and I handed out 1,000 coloring books, 1,400 balloons,  and buckets of candy downtown.

Then I got a pretty rad, awesome, compliment yesterday.  Yeah, I said rad and I said awesome! Psyche!

Next Friday is the service. Next Friday may or may not be an entirely different blog.  However, next Friday will be further proof that life just goes on. 
Til then...

a {rebel} without a blog

Hi.
I'm back.
I went away for a little while.   (like 6 weeks awhile) I do this sometimes. 
I'm OK.  Really. I am.   I just got a little behind with the self-imposed writing deadlines and weeklies, and then I got busy, and then I went on vacation, and, and, and... I can't lie, I felt an uncomfortable amount pressure to keep this blog up and I didn't like it.  I love to write.   I do.   I love to converse, text, talk, read, watch, listen...share. Right now though...I'm kind of (fill in the blank)  pensive.   Yeah, that's the word.   I'm in such a different place in my life and in my head than I was last time this year. But, there are so many things on my plate, so many pressures that have to be met:  work, bills, fitness, family obligations, speed limits when there's a really damn good fast song on! I just can't get out of some of those, so I went and got out of the one that I could control.    I could stop writing.  I have power over that.   Yeah, I think not writing has been my rebellion.  Does that make sense at all?  I became a rebel without a blog.   All the while, the that tiny small voice was telling me: Why are you giving up the one thing you really love? It's your outlet. You know how you get when you bottle it all up inside.
 

{my kitchen blackboard and love notes to myself}

 

Getting back here hasn't been as easy as I thought. 

It should be like riding a bike, just get back on, right? That's what they say at least. I had to do a little bit of convincing. I had to romance myself with little sweet notes and reminders. I had to imagine that I needed inspiration to post something again. But really...I didn't have to do anything. I just had to sit down and start again.   So right now I'm liking the creative fury of my fingers dancing on this keyboard.
It's a familiar melody that needs to be played more often.   Getting back on the writing saddle is like anything else.  Showing up is half the battle but look, I'm already winning that one. I'm here.  I showed up.  I just gotta set some new rules so I don't find my way back to blank again. Or maybe I don't need rules, I just need some Hemingway:   There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. Ernest Hemingway <3

{Hi, I'm back.}

coffee date: {grateful}

It's been a while since I've linked up with  Alissa @ Rags to Stiches for a coffee date,  but I'm totally in a fall coffee kind of mood and I want to share today. Over a venti Pumpkin Spice Latte  (my favorite coffee ever! oh my be still my beating heart!!!) I'd tell you: 
I did the math last night and realized that I am working a 70-hour work week this week.   It's kind of a hazy blur, and yeah it's a lot of crazy hours, but I'm managing OK.
It'll make my weekend that much sweeter when it finally gets here.
I'd tell you that in what down time I had this week:
I've caught up with old friends in email and text,  checked a few things off my to-do list (like renting a textbook for my new major in Business Marketing:  back to school after 10 years of this full time+ career and I'm excited!) read some great new blogs, made myself a blog button,  and finally caught up on my She Reads Truth Proverbs Daily. 

I'd share that today was Proverbs 27 and verse17 has been finding me all yearlong.
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."  
A constant reminder that the people who are falling in & out of my life  in person & here in the blogger world are all there for a purpose. I'm starting to see how some of the dots of sadness and disappointment are connecting  into a bigger picture kind of woven story that's all my own.

I'd tell you that despite these long days:  I had a great dinner with my friends Carrie, Jacob, and their baby Olivia.  I woke up to a picture of cute baby Owen the other day.  The clouds and sky all this week have captivated me. I made it to the gym to run twice early in the AM after my shift. I saw my childhood friend who was having her first kind of great day after the last couple of months of chemo/radiation. I spent time with my Uncle.  Time with him will be gone sooner rather than later.  It's bittersweet.  We have peace in knowing he'll go to a better place, but we will miss him.  Our law enforcement community lost another patrol officer due to a senseless gunman.  It is happening to often and a loss of one is a loss to us all.  It makes my heart heavy. I held back tears when a friend told me nonchalantly that she prays for me everyday.  I didn't hold back tears when another friend thanked me for loving her and her family unconditionally and that a quick email to check in on her early at 5am was a major comfort to her when she really needed it.  Timing. My other lesson this year.
Finally, I'd tell you that this has been a busy week but when I sat down to write this coffee blog,  I realized how grateful I really am and should be. 
I have a good, reliable job, a house of my own to live in,  precious friends & family that love me, and I have a lot of: goals, ambition, dreams, and opportunities that have yet to come to light. 
I hope you all have had a great week and good weekend that is still yet to come.  <3

{just} because

Busy is as busy does and I've missed a couple of posts that I meant  to get up in the last week or so.  Today seems like a perfect day to play catch up! If you haven't had a chance  yes, check out Operation Beautiful,  Hosted by Shane {Whispering Sweet Nothings}. It's a great opportunity for a little self-reflection,  and a gentle reminder to appreciate who we are as women.
My opinions on what I think is beautiful, heck my opinion of myself, is an evolution.  I don't necessarily feel beautiful day-in day-out,  but I'm learning to see myself through other people's eyes,  be more forgiving and less of my own worst critic.  Seriously, girls, we are harder on ourselves than we should be!
My entry for Operation Beautiful IV: 

My other little catch-up for the week is for the last Jewelry Swap hosted by Melissa  {Life of a Not So Ordinary House Wife}
I had a nice shift change weekend/Labor Day weekend and when I finally got around to checking the mail, I found these awesome, and brand new feather earrings in my mailbox from Marissa {Everyday Lounge Act}. Thanks Marissa!!!
You see I have a Las Vegas trip coming up and they are a perfect match  for the outrageous skirt I bought to wear out.  

I'm going for a Las Vegas Neon Sign look.  We've decided that I shall be called Tropicana the night I don this outfit.   Or Tropical Thunder. It's still being discussed... Yup. Hot (yeah girl) neon mess.   Meow.  So yeah... Viva Las Vegas & Happy Thursday to you all!!! <3

Lo made a {button}!

Knock one more off the to-do list! 

I finally made myself a lil' ol' blogger button!

It's here or on my sidebar if you want to swap. 

{uhh...still figuring out the sponsor/swap thing too}

I used {this} tutorial from Jade Louise Designs and found it to be really helpful.

It's not has hard as it looks, but still some trial & error for this gal. 

   

<a border="0" href=http://meandmybeautifulmess.blogspot.com/ " target="_blank"><img src="http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f234/lolo_h2o/bloggerbutton.jpg"/></a>

Slowly but surely, I'm working through all this blogger schtuff. 

Now to clean up this mess of a blog...yeah, yeah, I have plans you see. 

In time...in time...stay tuned.

Happy Hump day to you all, it's almost the weekend again!!!

7 {wants}

It's Tuesday! Time for another You Challenge: 
This week is {7} Wants: 
1) I want a nap.

Source: via Karin on Pinterest

  Seriously, just about every day, I want a nap at some point. Figure those things are for the really young or the really old,  but I think we need a campaign to bring those back for all the people in between.  I'll sign that petition. 
2) I want to be debt-free someday.
but if I had extra $, I would totally do this next thing: 
3) I want to go here: 

Source: adelto.co.uk via Lauren on Pinterest

I want to go yesterday, today, tomorrow, each time for a long time,  and then on the regular for many, many years after that. 
4. I want November 7th to come quickly.  I hate politics, but I find myself neck deep in the local ones around here  and unable to escape the coverage of the state and local ones.  It's exhausting (and we're just getting started) I'll be glad when it's all over.
5.  more tattoos (if you have any, you know just how addicting  they are)

Source: fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com via Lauren on Pinterest

6)  a fresh zip code, a new career, a start of a new chapter

Source: releasemecreations.com via Lauren on Pinterest

and lastly... 7.  I wan(t)na love you, and treat you right.   I wanna love you every day and every night...  ~ Bob Marley 
What do you want?  Head over to Lauren or Tiffany's blogs and join in!
 

I'm also linking up to the GFC Blog Hop with 
Melissa @ Life of a Not So Ordinary House Wife

Snippets & Soundbytes: Simply {Sunday}

Well, it's my version of Sunday at least.  Simple?  Eh.
There's music, pictures, food, a little bit of comedy. I managed to make it through 14 hours of work... yes, 14 hours (0200-1600) in one piece, but  determined not to hit the couch face first right when I got home.  Shift work ain't for the birds.   Honestly, it's half the struggle sometimes.
We're in another Indian Summer around here. Typical for these last few years. Hot August nights roll into sultry September days. 

It was 95* when I got off, but a gentle breeze was calling as a reminder to  open all the doors and windows,  put on some Zac Brown Band and let the light come streaming in. 
Everything around here, the hills, the leaves, the trees  are shades of brown, orange, and red.  The sun is setting earlier and earlier, painting everything in sepia tones. 

I ended up in the backyard watering the thirsty garden and then while Emma "supervised" I finally picked some tomatoes. I tell you nothing beats home grown tomatoes.  This is actually the first time this year they've made it into the house.  I usually grab a handful and snack on them while I water early in the morning.
I have more tomatoes than I can use myself,  so I plan on gifting some of them to my mother.  Especially after this text she sent me a couple of weeks ago: 

See mine in the picture up top and hers? 

They're from the same nursery and planted at the same time.  

I have no idea what happened to them, but she's killing me with this diatribe. 

Thirty minutes later, fresh off of a weekend road-trip home from Lake Tahoe,  I convinced my friend Mellissa and her husband Dave to join me for a pedicure. 

Exhausted and completely willing participant to the calf and foot massage I was getting,  I fell asleep with this gem of a tune playing in the nail salon. 

I thought this kind of music was legally only allowed to be played  on Midnight Special DVD Collections at 3am and in elevators?  Yeah, see, 14 seconds into the song and you're probably comatose too.   I was out.  There might have been drool.

{sidenote: some kind of power of suggestion, my nails are the exact same color as my car. Weird}

Nothing cures a massage chair coma like a Freeb!rds burrito and  a few more tunes on the drive home with all the windows down.   This familiar old song is straight out of my ... pre-teens? 
Yeah, this is twenty (one) years old! 21.  It's old enough to legally drink now! What?!
Ah, anyways, here I am now, blogging a little bit of my night before I finally give in and go to sleep.   I have two whole days off (fingers-crossed) and no solid plans. Maybe I can finally get to that stamp collection I've been meaning to organize. Just kidding.  But I'm sure I'll find another adventure in the next 48 hours. 
Hope y'all have a great Labor Day Holiday!
Stay thirsty, stay classy, stay safe my friends!
<3,

{Dear} Friday v.4

Dear Friday, well hello there.  I thought you might never get here, but you never fail me. You see I have finally resigned myself to your late hour, having made it through the day and the week.  Dear Red Wine, yes you, I like your sassy bottle curves and your sneaky little smile.  Mmmm...  

Dear Billy Currington (double mmmm...), if you could only see me spinning around this big candlelit room with a glass in my hand, well, that voice of yours is always doing something right.   Dear Sore Body, yeah, you.  You keep wanting to give up on me one muscle a a time, but surely and slowly we're getting it back.  No, no.  No more giving up and giving in.  We're both in this for the long haul.  I have to live somewhere, and it's not longer going to be a lazy garbage dump.   Dear Lynn, Jill, Ashley, Gail, and Michelle, thanks for the nods, the emails, the kudos, and the encouragement this week. Dear Aunt Liz & Uncle Tom, thank you for the invite.  Tomorrow's Cal v. Nevada College Football game is going to be quite amazing.  Somehow I have managed to make it to 31 never having been to a live College Football Game.  I think it's high time to do some jumping, shouting, and screaming!!   Dear Summer, I am sad to see you go.  I feel like we were just getting comfy together.  I can't believe you're gone again.  Like another lost love...*sigh*, but I have hope you'll be back some day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  You know how much I love you even if I sometimes complain about how uncomfortable you make me. Dear Family, we knew it was coming, let's make the best of our time with our blessed, sweet Uncle Mickey.  3-6 months isn't a long time, but it's an invitation to make the most if it and so many people don't get that at all.  Don't be afraid.  There's nothing to fear.  It's just going to hurt for a while.  Don't let it disable you from spending the few good days and moments we have left with him.   Dear Louise, you didn't get a warning.  No one should ever outlive their children.  I can't think of the words to say to you to help be a comfort, other than you have my thoughts and my prayers.  Dear readers, whoever you are.  Tell the people you love that you love them.  Whether it's the actual words, a kind gesture, a moment of time our of your day dedicated to thinking of them and simply saying that they're on your mind.  Do it.  Do it now, do it consistently, do it sincerely   


Hoping everyone has a great weekend! XO, 

{8} Fears

I'm running late today on this weekly entry so I'm gonna just lay it out there  and try not think too hard about these. 
I'm just gonna type until my fingers are done ...cause right now, tonight,  I think my heart and my head have some things to say. A lot of things.
Lauren & Tiffany, you asked, here you go:

  First off, I wouldn't say that I'm a really fearful person.  I'd say I'm kind of brave. I do a lot of stuff on my own.   I don't think it's a broken sense of security.
Quite opposite, in fact, I am pretty aware of my surroundings - more than most I'd say  I think that's by being the oldest, by being independent from an early age,  and by being in law enforcement for so many years.
I was raised in a family and by parents who had a strong faith in God and so do I.  I have a solid foundation that doesn't forsake me even when I ignore it. (Say it with an accent now) I am a God fearin' woman.  Yes, indeed I am.  I saw this today and thought it was perfect for this week's 10 Day You Challenge

 {via Facebook}
I know who I am, I'm not afraid of making mistakes,  I'm not afraid of learning things the hard way. I'm learning a lot about myself lately.

This next picture is a few years old.  

A good friend of mine, who knows me well, put this on my locker at work one day. 

I read it and remember distinctly recognizing for maybe one of the first times in my short life that 

the way I carried myself, the things I did and stood for, they were noticed. 

I remember distinctly being proud that someone would think this of me. 

I remember not wanting to lose that label of fearless.

This is one of the best compliments I've ever received.

I haven't read any of the other girl's lists in the link up yet today.   I didn't on purpose.   I didn't want their lists to influence mine. I wanted to really think about this. 
So here's my list of {fears}: 
1) Sharks Seriously, do I even have to explain this one?  Shark Week people.   'Nuff said. (but, guess what? a shark cage dive is on my bucket list. I will confront this fear. Someday.)
which leads me to...
2) large bodies of water they're beautiful, but it makes me get all panicky and nervous knowing that  I can't see or feel or know what is lurking, and swimming, and slinking about at the bottom. Nuh-uh, not gonna dew it.   Nope. NO. Negative.
also...I fear them because I don't want to 
3) Drown(ing) also...do I have to explain this one?  *shudder* *cough* *sputter*
4) Intruders I live alone. I don't like the things that go bump in the night. There's only so much a girl can do armed with a big dog and a cell phone.  I think it's worse cause I know first hand the intruder stories.  Meh.  Not cool at all.  I've been thinking about my 2nd Amendment Rights a lot lately. 
5) Heights - that is a fear that seems to increase with my age for some reason.   I don't like glass bottom elevators, I don't like looking over multi story balconies.  I get sweaty palms and my heart races and I want to go pee pee in my pants.
6) Spiders...to an extent, seeing them I'm ok... having them crawl on or around me, no, no, NO.
{story time} I had spider crawl up my dress once...I was sitting on the ground.  In about 1/2 nanosecond, I was up, I was screaming shrieking, I threw a pillow and I jumped up and down like I was a 3 year old in a bouncy house. I have a witness, he'll tell you it was true, but what he won't tell you and didn't tell me for like a year, is that he's afraid of spiders too. Ah-ha!!!!   Chicken.   Ok, so can we get real for a second.  Like really, real? 
  7) and we shall label this <3? I fear I will never be in love again. Like puppy dog kind of, head over heels, mutual (key word),  in love with your best friend kind of love.  Yeah.  It seems like a ghost or a dream or a fable. 
and last, but most definitely not least
8) Settling I fear that I'll settle and the thought of that damn near makes me ill. Like physically sick.  I see it all the time.  Personally, professionally...it's an epidemic.
I don't wanna settle for good not great ~ Brad Paisley
This isn't me being judgmental, this is me standing in the midst of this shit storm we call society's take on commitment and relationships and screaming at the top of my lungs but feeling like no one is hearing me.
So... it's funny or acceptable to see people cheat, lie, and degrade each other? It's ok to see people lie to themselves and not intervene? Stop the train wreck. I mean there's whole talk shows and "reality" shows that have that as the main story line. Marriage is, what? A trend? A phase?

Source: Uploaded by user via Lauren on Pinterest

I guess it's a double edged sword, swing too far to cautious  and  you risk never taking a chance on anyone and missing out on...your destiny?  Eh.  Swing too far the other way and you're in love every 5 seconds and it's cry wolf. 
Listen, I've been there,  on the other end of the phone listening to the stories scratching my head wondering what it is about love that makes people lose all sense of self and logic, then again in the bridesmaid's dress fully supportive on the outside while inside saying "noooo, don't do it!", and then finally with a shoulder to lean on and a spare bedroom to offer when it all comes tumbling down. 
Don't call me and expert by any means,  but more often than not, the writing is always on the wall.   They say when you know, you know.   And well, if you're just still standing there guessing cause you think it's better than nothing, or it's comfortable, or it's been long enough so it's do or die...even when there's that nagging voice of doubt, well listen to it and don't.   Don't do it.  Don't settle.  Please.  Save you, save me, save us all.  For the love of...LoVe.  *sigh* I read } this { recently and I really appreciated it.  
From a woman who lived and loved in a generation that made something of what they had, this is some tried and true expertise.  I don't know Grandma Carol, but I like her.  Honorable mentions: 
There's a couple of things that came to mind that I realized  don't frighten me and I wanted to mention them. This is not a judgement on anyone else,  this is just my life's opinion as I've experienced it thus far. 
I'm in no way looking forward  or hoping either  of these to happen, but  if/when they might, I don't fear these and here's why: 
Losing loved ones - not because I don't love them dearly, but because I know that I tell them and show them on a regular basis.  I make the time.  I know it's precious. I have an aging family, this is a reality for me every day.  I have embraced it.   I can't be selfish enough to think that I can close my eyes and ignore it.
I am learning, damn near every day, to try again, to give second and third chances, to apologize, to make amends,  and to tell people that I value them and want and need  them in my life. I'm also learning when it's time to give up, give in, and let things go.  That lesson is just as hard as swallowing my pride and mending fences.

Source: s-kinnyl-ove.tumblr.com via M on Pinterest

Having a child with a serious or fatal illness - some of the strongest people I know have had children who have fought and won and unfortunately fought and lost  to cancer, Batten Disease, and other rare diseases that have no cures. 
 These children are every bit as valuable, precious, and worthy of love as any "healthy" child.   These children are some of the bravest fighters I have ever had the opportunity to meet. These children are warriors.   All they know is fight, every breath is a struggle, but they keep going.  They're resilient. They're an every day lesson in life and love. 
I don't wish it on anyone and I don't understand the unfairness,  but I don't fear the ability to love unconditionally those who are different, sick, or "incurable".
So, loss, I don't willingly embrace it, but I understand it's purpose in life. 
I have said my goodbyes when the time has come,  I have listened and watched for the last few breaths,  I have felt the breathless sobs of the loved ones left behind, embraced the outstretched arms,  felt the relentless tears roll down off of cheeks and soak through the clothing that drapes my shoulders.   I've been there, felt it, comforted it, cursed it, denied it, and finally accepted it. 
And...if you're still here at the end of this long dissertation I just wrote,  I will give more honorable mention to these other "non-fears" cause we need some levity! 
Financial ruin, credit card debt, body odor, running out of gas, passing gas in inappropriate situations, karaoke, public speaking, making a complete and total ass of your myself, having my heart broken, saying "I love you " and meaning it, stretch marks, acts of nature, flying, and ever increasing chin hair.   Yeah, whattadya gonna do?  Just roll with it! Come on, we have got to get through this together!!!!
Next week...{7} Wants
I might, just might, go all Veruka Salt on you!!!
xOxoXoxOXoooX
XO ,
PS - I feel better now.  I do.  Writing.  Makes some of the funk go away.