coffee date: {grateful}

It's been a while since I've linked up with  Alissa @ Rags to Stiches for a coffee date,  but I'm totally in a fall coffee kind of mood and I want to share today. Over a venti Pumpkin Spice Latte  (my favorite coffee ever! oh my be still my beating heart!!!) I'd tell you: 
I did the math last night and realized that I am working a 70-hour work week this week.   It's kind of a hazy blur, and yeah it's a lot of crazy hours, but I'm managing OK.
It'll make my weekend that much sweeter when it finally gets here.
I'd tell you that in what down time I had this week:
I've caught up with old friends in email and text,  checked a few things off my to-do list (like renting a textbook for my new major in Business Marketing:  back to school after 10 years of this full time+ career and I'm excited!) read some great new blogs, made myself a blog button,  and finally caught up on my She Reads Truth Proverbs Daily. 

I'd share that today was Proverbs 27 and verse17 has been finding me all yearlong.
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."  
A constant reminder that the people who are falling in & out of my life  in person & here in the blogger world are all there for a purpose. I'm starting to see how some of the dots of sadness and disappointment are connecting  into a bigger picture kind of woven story that's all my own.

I'd tell you that despite these long days:  I had a great dinner with my friends Carrie, Jacob, and their baby Olivia.  I woke up to a picture of cute baby Owen the other day.  The clouds and sky all this week have captivated me. I made it to the gym to run twice early in the AM after my shift. I saw my childhood friend who was having her first kind of great day after the last couple of months of chemo/radiation. I spent time with my Uncle.  Time with him will be gone sooner rather than later.  It's bittersweet.  We have peace in knowing he'll go to a better place, but we will miss him.  Our law enforcement community lost another patrol officer due to a senseless gunman.  It is happening to often and a loss of one is a loss to us all.  It makes my heart heavy. I held back tears when a friend told me nonchalantly that she prays for me everyday.  I didn't hold back tears when another friend thanked me for loving her and her family unconditionally and that a quick email to check in on her early at 5am was a major comfort to her when she really needed it.  Timing. My other lesson this year.
Finally, I'd tell you that this has been a busy week but when I sat down to write this coffee blog,  I realized how grateful I really am and should be. 
I have a good, reliable job, a house of my own to live in,  precious friends & family that love me, and I have a lot of: goals, ambition, dreams, and opportunities that have yet to come to light. 
I hope you all have had a great week and good weekend that is still yet to come.  <3

Coffee date: {overtime}

If we had coffee this week, you'd probably comment on the bags under my eyes.

You'd tell me that I had better get some sleep.

I'd say, "What, my new Bare Essentuals tinted moisturizer isn't hiding them?!"

Then you'd laugh at me 'cause I'm totally punchdrunk and completly goofy and I'd be hanging off the chair laughing at myself. 

The people at Starbucks would just stare at our table. 

I'd make a face at them and we'd continue.

I'd tell you that in the last 72 hours, I've worked 5 partial shifts, which is 24 hours of overtime, not counting the regular 12 hour graveyard shift I'm working now. 

I would tell you that I've done this before, so it's not new to me, but I'm older than I used to be and it's harder than it ever was before.

I've been under this headset for 10 years now at all hours of the day and night. 

10 years of shiftwork....makin' a girl feel haggard!

(someone called me a "salty old veteran"...I can't lie, it's a compliment)

You'd probably just shake your head at me when I said, I haven't slept more than 12 horus in the last 3 days, but  I RAN/walked a 5K last night and then did 90 minutes of hot yoga this morning. 

Some combination of sleep deprivation and inner turmoil made me get out and move my body.

At our coffee date, I'd tell you I don't know if I'm coming or going, but I sure am taking a LOT of  pictures and writing about it!

I'd tell you that I think I'm crazy for starting two new blogs even thought my personal and profession to-do list is a MILE long and not getting shorter!

I'd tell you that, by accident, I stumbled across an online travel writer's course that I think I can't wait to enroll in, yeah, add that to the list too!

I'd ramble something about how my highlights are getting lighter, my hair is longer, my tan tanner, and then I'd show you about 87 Pinterest pictures of new tattoos that I want - because I have the ink itch in a bad, bad way these days.  It.is.terrible!!!

I'd also tell you that I finally got around to reading some of the coffee posts from last week and I'm so glad I have.  It feels good to know that I'm not alone in my introspective bubble.  I'm fiding some blogs and some ladies here that remind me that I am not the only one who struggles every day & who needs inspiration.

I'd tell you that I find comfort in their stories and their words.

I'd tell you that crazy as it was this weekend, I needed to be at work and not at home or where my mind could wander and make me anxious for things I cannot change or control.

I'd tell you that I pray every day, moreso now these days than ever.

I wouldn't tell you exactly what I pray but that the words that come more often than not are: wisdom, courage, peace, trust, and to be anxious for nothing.

I pray for the one that still causes me some heartache. 
I pray that he has discerment and courage and that he remembers he can pray for himself too.

I pray that I can go back to being "just" a best friend again and that I remember that God does not bring people into your life by accident.

Finally...

I'd tell you that Adele writes award winning albums about heartache.  I write blogs. 

I'd tell you that my doppelganger, Kelly Clarkson, is siging this "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" song just for me this week!!!

I am sleep deprived, I am a bit rambly, but I am certianly stronger than I was last week. 

I hope you are all a little bit stronger too!

Thanks to Alissa @ RagtoStitches for the coffee date invite. 

I look foward to reading about everyone else's weeks too.

xo ~ Lauren