Monday, June 25, 2012

Coffee date: {overtime}

If we had coffee this week, you'd probably comment on the bags under my eyes.
You'd tell me that I had better get some sleep.
I'd say, "What, my new Bare Essentuals tinted moisturizer isn't hiding them?!"
Then you'd laugh at me 'cause I'm totally punchdrunk and completly goofy and I'd be hanging off the chair laughing at myself. 
The people at Starbucks would just stare at our table. 
I'd make a face at them and we'd continue.

I'd tell you that in the last 72 hours, I've worked 5 partial shifts, which is 24 hours of overtime, not counting the regular 12 hour graveyard shift I'm working now. 
I would tell you that I've done this before, so it's not new to me, but I'm older than I used to be and it's harder than it ever was before.
I've been under this headset for 10 years now at all hours of the day and night. 
10 years of shiftwork....makin' a girl feel haggard!
(someone called me a "salty old veteran"...I can't lie, it's a compliment)
You'd probably just shake your head at me when I said, I haven't slept more than 12 horus in the last 3 days, but  I RAN/walked a 5K last night and then did 90 minutes of hot yoga this morning. 
Some combination of sleep deprivation and inner turmoil made me get out and move my body.

At our coffee date, I'd tell you I don't know if I'm coming or going, but I sure am taking a LOT of  pictures and writing about it!
I'd tell you that I think I'm crazy for starting two new blogs even thought my personal and profession to-do list is a MILE long and not getting shorter!
I'd tell you that, by accident, I stumbled across an online travel writer's course that I think I can't wait to enroll in, yeah, add that to the list too!
I'd ramble something about how my highlights are getting lighter, my hair is longer, my tan tanner, and then I'd show you about 87 Pinterest pictures of new tattoos that I want - because I have the ink itch in a bad, bad way these days.!!!

I'd also tell you that I finally got around to reading some of the coffee posts from last week and I'm so glad I have.  It feels good to know that I'm not alone in my introspective bubble.  I'm fiding some blogs and some ladies here that remind me that I am not the only one who struggles every day & who needs inspiration.
I'd tell you that I find comfort in their stories and their words.

I'd tell you that crazy as it was this weekend, I needed to be at work and not at home or where my mind could wander and make me anxious for things I cannot change or control.
I'd tell you that I pray every day, moreso now these days than ever.
I wouldn't tell you exactly what I pray but that the words that come more often than not are: wisdom, courage, peace, trust, and to be anxious for nothing.
I pray for the one that still causes me some heartache. 
I pray that he has discerment and courage and that he remembers he can pray for himself too.
I pray that I can go back to being "just" a best friend again and that I remember that God does not bring people into your life by accident.

I'd tell you that Adele writes award winning albums about heartache.  I write blogs. 
I'd tell you that my doppelganger, Kelly Clarkson, is siging this "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" song just for me this week!!!
I am sleep deprived, I am a bit rambly, but I am certianly stronger than I was last week. 
I hope you are all a little bit stronger too!

Thanks to Alissa @ RagtoStitches for the coffee date invite. 
I look foward to reading about everyone else's weeks too.

xo ~ Lauren


  1. Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting so I could find you...and I agree...God doesn't put people into our lives by accident...which is why I try to not let a meeting go by unnoticed! I'll be praying for you this week, new friend!

    Jill...from Ernestine Edna