Wednesday, February 4, 2015

#WYA Day 1: {Hey Kiddo}


Hey Kiddo, 

You know every time you hear someone your age calling you that, you raise your brow and get defensive but when someone older uses it, you grin a little. So here goes, kiddo, 23-year old me, a few things you don't want really want to hear from the 33-year old me. 

Learn the art of NO in it's most simple, elegant, non-explanatory existence. It's not about letting someone else down or feeling like it won't get done if you're not there to slave over it, it's about you. It's about listening to your heart and your body and giving yourself a little bit of that time you're so willing to always give to someone else. One day when you grimace through exhausted eyes and a weary soul at the "selfish" people, you'll come to recognize that they aren't selfish, they're self-aware and they know how to practice the art of NO with grace and confidence. Say no, my dear, and say yes to yourself. 

Stop working so much. Although your genuine passion for work far exceeds your good sense right now, one day you'll wonder what happened to a decade of weekends and dates gone by. There will be a handful of occasions you'll wish you didn't work your life through and there won't be enough money or rooms full of possessions that will make up for that time.

Speaking of passion, remember what makes your young heart beat. Music, words, writing, photography, powerful movies that highlight the beautiful parts of life. Don't get trapped in the mires of your everyday. Don't let the tragedy of this thing we call life paint a picture that is full of shadows. Let it go. Take off your headset and drown it out with words and life and sunlight and music and great food and lots of laughs. You're going to get off course, maybe not all the time, but sometimes you'll forget to come back to the middle. You won't get it now, but you'll get it after this great man is gone from the earth and you watch his work to understand why he will be so missed. This is how you come back to the middle, young lady. 

Let love in. Just do it. Let someone love you, and not just from a distance. Don't be afraid to get your heart broken. Put out of your mind that you could never date that kind of guy, or be that sort of girlfriend, or survive that kind of love. You'll box yourself in, you'll blind yourself to the perfect imperfections of the ones who might be the exact mirror you've been looking for. Don't forget to love yourself a little too. 

Move your body. Dance, do yoga, run, sweat, bend, shift, gyrate, just shake it off. Someday in the future you'll find yourself shaking and sweating and wondering why you never thought you were strong enough to run in a relay or hold a pose or climb a steep hill, and you'll love it. Then you'll lose it and wonder if you'll ever recover from pushing your body too far and you'll realize that you forgot to say no and your body said it for you. It's a hard lesson, it's painful and it will drop you to your knees and keep you up at night, but the beauty of it all is that you can still move. And all it takes is to move little and then you can move big, but you'll never lose as long as you're still moving.
Move yourself, Love.

Find your sexy. Not your slutty. Not your sleazy. Not your trying too hard. Find your own version of sexy. It's not what you think it is. It's confidence. It's subtle. It's comfortable in your own skin. It's genuine. It's your shoulder peeping out your shirt. It's the way you bite your lip when you don't even know you're doing it. It's the way you grin and tilt your head with that telling stare. It's when something surprises you and you let that ever present guard down and that little squeak of surprise or fright comes out of the girl who is always prepped for the worst. Get comfortable with yourself. Get  comfortable with the one body and face you were given in this lifetime. 
You are more beautiful than you realize. Don't forget that. 

PS - my dear sweet, you're 6 days late into this journey, but you're here. Welcome home. Welcome back to your keyboard and your 3am. 

Monday, August 26, 2013

{bold}: a bio

I don't know where to start. 
My brain is on total overload. 
I spent this weekend in a space overflowing with inspiration. 
A Writing Workshop with by writing crush, Alexandra Franzen.

I can't go into how the dots are connecting for me right now. 
I don't think I even fully undertand it yet. 

But what I can share and what I did complete for the weekend is this:
An updated definition of who I am. 
This is me, 
Mad Libs style: 

Make no mistakes, she's got some mojo a-workin', this girl.
Just like her tattoos, she wears her heart on her sleeve.

Lauren Coughlan believes:
 that conversations should be fearless and questions should be bold. 
As a 911 operator, she's a full time chaos wrangler, but what you really should know... is that she's a writer who speaks from her heart and a photographer who believes in the beauty of a timeless image. Her work has been called honest and authentic.

In her spare time, she can be found travelling the globe trying to quench her wanderlust, inhaling calm on her yoga mat, or wrestling with her adopted German Shepherd who every day makes her wonder who really rescued who?  
She invites you to be part of her crazy, beautiful life, 
so Go! Quick! Now! Find her at: me & my 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


I have decided on a new bucket item list. 

I want to be serenaded with emphasis.
I don't know when or where, 
but my life will not be complete 
until I am the spotlight center of such an act.

1) without reservation
2) both shame and pride checked at the door

I want to be wooed in song 
melodically, audibly intoxicated with lyrics
{performer's blood alcohol content will not be questioned}

and I want it to epic ballad
not just some run-of-the-mill love song
if it doesn't have the potential for vocal strain 
and possible hamstring pulling theatrical song animation = no
I'm talking about hair band style singing that makes you sweat 
air guitar theatrics
Adam Sandler Wedding Singer-esque
John-Cusack-style hold the speaker box of love up to the window sanging!!!!

let's start with: 

wait for it, wait for it...

roll your windows up
 beat the steering wheel like it's a drum set and saaaaang!

guitar smashing
mic stand tossing
build to a crashing crescendo drum beat 
kick the wind kind of song 
shake the sweat out yo hair
ball your fists up and battle back the emotions

THIS is my MacDaddy of favorite love ballads
oh, Richie...
oh, Jon...

fist pump
chest bump
heart thump 

sing it to me baby and put your back into it!!

"I'll be there for you!
These five words I swear to you!
When you breath, I wanna be the air for you!

when I find my Mister, I'll make sure he knows about this
this may be part of a future nuptial agreement
this kind of performance at least once a year for all the years were together...
cause who can split apart when you have an epic love ballad karaoke promise?

no one.
that's who.


Wednesday, May 22, 2013

{10} things that make me happy

Day 14: 10 things that make you really {Happy}
1. gummy bears

2. people watching in the airport
3. country music
4. THIS dog! I love her!!!

5. Summer nights
6. the {warm} sun on my skin
7. pleasant surprises
8. travelling
9. babies/kids laughing
10. roadtrips

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

it's just {stuff}

It's all just stuff.
I found myself having a pity party this weekend.
Listening to my dog's look-at-me-Ma barks and my footsteps echo of the walls in the empty room.
Looking around wondering how I accumulated all the stuff that fills up my house.
My house.
Wondering why it matters that I continue to work to maintain a house that I keep just for me.
Trying to figure out what to do next and how I get to my Dreamland that seems so far away.
And then Oklahoma happens and I see it all in it's turbulence, strewn all around in heaps and unrecognizable piles on the street, places that used to be homes and havents.
And then I realize that it's all just stuff.
A bunch of stuff.
And it's not that important.
It really isn't.
So the people and the relationships...yeah those:
That's what's going to get me to my Dreamland. 
A harsh reminder that we're all we've got and we're in this together.
God be with Oklahoma.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

throw off the {bowlines}

Blog everyday, blog everyday in Maaaaaaay!
Ok, here's the deal. I'm starting on Day 4.
Why? Cause that's where' I'm jumping in.
Life has me busy, yo!
I'll catch up. Promise {pinky swear}.

One of my favorite quotes {and oh how I love quotes!!!} is this one:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do
an by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.

~ Mark Twain

Keep dreaming my friends!!!

Sunday, April 14, 2013


I signed up. 
Enough thinking.
Time to train. 

The agreement:
We go as slow as the slowest team member.
We work as a team.
Even if it takes us 9 hours, we will all finish. 
We will be relentless. 

This thing was created by the British Forces, huh? 
Well, I've spent enough time telling cops where to go for a living.
Time to pony up, show up, and shut up. 

I'll be the girl covered in water and mud, sucking down air and dust
determined look in her eye and a smile that says "it hurts, but it's not the boss of me."

Through ice,  fire, mud, water, electric shock...
look for #TeamRelentless this September in Tahoe.