7 {wants}

It's Tuesday! Time for another You Challenge: 
This week is {7} Wants: 
1) I want a nap.

Source: via Karin on Pinterest

  Seriously, just about every day, I want a nap at some point. Figure those things are for the really young or the really old,  but I think we need a campaign to bring those back for all the people in between.  I'll sign that petition. 
2) I want to be debt-free someday.
but if I had extra $, I would totally do this next thing: 
3) I want to go here: 

Source: adelto.co.uk via Lauren on Pinterest

I want to go yesterday, today, tomorrow, each time for a long time,  and then on the regular for many, many years after that. 
4. I want November 7th to come quickly.  I hate politics, but I find myself neck deep in the local ones around here  and unable to escape the coverage of the state and local ones.  It's exhausting (and we're just getting started) I'll be glad when it's all over.
5.  more tattoos (if you have any, you know just how addicting  they are)

Source: fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com via Lauren on Pinterest

6)  a fresh zip code, a new career, a start of a new chapter

Source: releasemecreations.com via Lauren on Pinterest

and lastly... 7.  I wan(t)na love you, and treat you right.   I wanna love you every day and every night...  ~ Bob Marley 
What do you want?  Head over to Lauren or Tiffany's blogs and join in!
 

I'm also linking up to the GFC Blog Hop with 
Melissa @ Life of a Not So Ordinary House Wife

I am just {me}

Well hi there,

I’m Lauren.

 But my friends, well, they call me Lolo, or Lo, or LC.

There's a few things about me you should know.  
You can do it fast, and click {here} for the stats.
Or you can keep reading, and I'll tell you a little story.

I'm thirty…{one} and proud of it. The way I see it, it’s an unapologetic place to be. 

I’ve got a lot of living and learning left to do, but you know, what I’ve come to realize over the last few years and certainly through the school of hard knocks that was my 20's is that when the music stops, the dust settles,  and the sun goes down:

I am just me.

I am a story still being written, unfiltered, flawed, imperfectly yet perfectly one-of-a-kind, 

& very firm believer that the best is yet to come.

I am a 911 operator and Police/Fire Dispatcher going on 10 years now.

I was a Police Cadet/Intern for 5 years prior to that, so yes, that is half of my lifetime and I do bleed Blue.  Starting my career very early has turned out to be bittersweet.  

It has heavily shaped and formed my opinion of the world and the way that I see life in general. 

I won’t lie to you: public service is hard, some days more than others…but it is rewarding. 

It’s the selfish, mean ugliness & evil of humankind.

But…it’s also the miracles, the Good Samaritans, being in the right place at the right time,
 and the chance to work with some of the most selfless men & women who are every day willing to give 
and, unfortunately, have given their lives for others. 

"Greater love has no man than this, 
that he lay down his life for another."
John 15:13 

So hey, while we’re at it, because I am subject to the scrutiny:
 this blog and the opinions shared herein are solely mine and do not reflect those of my employer. 

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, why am I here?

I got stories lemme tell ya.
 I try to find the funny in it all, and well-placed sarcasm is my second language. 
I am passionate for finding the right words to describe life, 
to create laughter, tears, or comfort.  
I am a communicator by trade and I am a writer by heart. 

I owe my love of writing to Mrs. Johnson, a teacher who not only broke the mold, but made the mold.  She is the teacher that teachers should aspire to be.  She saw talent and passion and "brilliance", as she called it, in me when I was floundering as a student who could barely string a sentence together.   She saved me and she will always be a cornerstone in the foundation that has allowed me to be successful in my life since then.

Am I new to blogging?  No. Not exactly.
I have "blogged" (see: poured my heart out) for about 4 years now.  

But I didn’t publicize it very widely.  In fact, only a handful of my friends knew I was writing, some of my best friends only found out very recently. 
My blogger beginnings: Karma's Punchline is my heart on my sleeve, my online journal, my catharsis, my therapy, my best friend, my bucket list, my mirror, and now it's what's become part of the road map of how I arrived to my here and now.  

Linking it here for you all, my new, bigger audience, well it's like leaving your diary open on the kitchen table because you're not ashamed or afraid to let your loved ones in.  
It's something you grow into I suppose.  

So, why a new blog?  

Source: middlenameconfused.tumblr.com via Lauren on Pinterest

Well, I figured it was time for a new chapter.  I struggled with even creating a new blog for fear of abandoning my last 4 years worth of my heart in phrase, in prose, and in the reading between those lines, but then I came to realize that that blog will always be there for me.  
It's like going back home, or going to grandma's house.  
It's the familiar, the foundation, the good memories, the place you can be yourself, vulnerable, happy, lackluster...
it will always be there, my landmark, my North Star in writing to remind me about a girl that I used to be and a woman I aspire to become. 

 I decided to start this blog, about Me & My Beautiful Mess as a new challenge and a new chapter and jumped in with both feet.  I found a certain excitement in the Blogger world that I kept running across as of late.  I wanted to share with these crafty women (and a few good men) who are creating a community through shared stories, creative endeavors, and public peeks into their every lives.  
I've found time and time again that good stories, good blogs, they're like hearing good lyrics, the ones in the songs that come on when you least expect it and the words, well they feel like they were written just for you - a reassurance that you're not the only one who thought, felt, or wanted something you couldn't quite verbalize.  
What are our words, our stories, and our lives, if we cannot share them with each other?  

What is this blog about? 
I really struggled with that in the last few weeks.  After years of not giving a second thought about my given topic and letting my heart guide my fingertips over the keyboard, I had a little panic attack about what I would or could or should write here in this chapter in my life.
What's my niche?  Photography, cooking, weight loss, fashion, humor, being single, travel, music...gaaahh!!! Just pick one already!!!  I started to get panicky and then I had a little back to Jesus talk with myself (literally at one point during the last couple of months, I was on my knees, physically, praying for some kind of relief, understanding, and comfort for a number of things in my life) and  so I put myself in check.   Get it together kid!  


I have this other thought and idea that I've formed on my own but also read that others are struggling with too.  
A thought that blogging is narcissistic (for lack of a better word), it's self-indulgent, that it's motives should be questioned.  

Well, to that I say this, that could go for everything in life.   
Questioning your motives isn't a bad thing. 
 One of the best practices I've learned from yoga is to set your intention. 
Why do we indulge in the things we put our well placed time and effort into?  
It's true, you only live once (yeah, *groan* YOLO, well in my case LOLO, ha!), so manage your time wisely.  
Having encountered that thought made me really question my intentions
but then, ah-ha!, you see I came to my senses and went back to what I already knew, 
what I was already well versed in writing about.
 My "niche" is life.  
My life.
The good, the bad, the ugly, the mess. 
The moments I'm most proud of, the ones that I'm ashamed of, 
the ones that make me giggle like a school girl, 
and cry until the tears run dry.

{source}

My life, not unlike all of yours, is full and busy.
I can't make promises to blog as often as maybe I should, to always be politically correct,
to refrain from cursing when it's applicable,
 to link up every week, or even remember to hit spell check some days, 
but what I can promise is that you'll get honesty & sincerity,
laughter & levity, frustration & hope, and downright silliness.
I promise that I'll write about the things that make my heart beat, 
and that you'll not only get the highlight reel but the outtakes.

You know, those scenes that start to scroll on the big screen after the credits roll, 
the ones that you walk back in the theatre for and sit down to laugh at?  
Yeah, those too.
Cause jeeze, you know, you have to laugh at those messy moments in life,
the unpredictable ones, the unscripted gag reel that is maybe embarrassing sometimes, but is oh so relatable. 
It's some of those shared moments that have brought me the best friendships of my life.

 Let's just all find some ways to laugh with each other, ok?
 And since my middle initials are D.R.,I feel like I have the right to hand out this one Rx:
Laughter is a great medicine, maybe even healthier than an apple a day,
let's indulge and if someone questions that you're partaking in it too much,
well just tell them that Lolo said it was ok.

So with love & laughter I hope you'll join me in this thing well all call Life:

Sincerely, honestly, messily yours, 

snippets & soundbytes {musical genius}

it's another non-stop weekend week reality of my life

still in the midst of craziness

burning up the miles and the candles on both ends

the baggage under my eyes starting to pile up like it's a girls' trip to Vegas

starting a new training regimen the same day I shop at Costco for a 1000 person BBQ = ow

but then...

somewhere in the far too early AM moments that insomnia & exhaustion create

I catch this on elephant journal 

the reality that romance is dead is lessened by my faith in musical genius is alive and well

I heart the Collective Cadenza and after you check them out I think you will to. 

Happy Weekend!

~ Lo

snippets & soundbytes: {wasting time)

I had full well intended to stay in last night. 

It was hot and there was nothing pressing on my to-do list besides catch up on all my blogs and edit some pictures.  Instead, I found myself out at a friend's house in the country out back on the patio hanging out under the stars 

Managing to make it home before the crack of midnight, came home to the lone dog in the house, and did what I always do in this quiet museum of mine...turned the music on.  

Somewhere on random select, I was graced with this song and yes, again my "new" favorite who I've always heard a single at a time, but never really listened to.  

I listened to this rendition of Otis Redding's classic at least a half a dozen times while the dog ran around chasing down flies. 

I remembered the time I broke my toe a few years back at the Fillmore in San Francisco and rolled my eyes at myself. Logic failed me that night as I wore open toed shoes to a rock concert.

Oh well, what's a toe to sacrifice for a great concert and a good memory?

If you ever get a chance to go to a concert there, make sure you take advantage. 

It's a legendary place and the walls are graced with some of the most colorful poster art you can find.
Art you'll find in museums and in private collections these days. 

 If those walls could talk, they'd tell you they've played host to the musicians of the ages:
 the rock gods, the rebels, and the lyrical game changers.  

I leave you with another soundbyte in this soundtrack that is my life & a snippet from the photo journal of my misadventures I've been making one picture at a time for many years now.

{I've got to pay homage to the original, a classic feel good song you just can't help but sing along with.}

{3 Doors Down concert, 2008, don't let the smile distract from the broken, swelling toe that now points slightly to the left. It can tell you when the rain is gonna come}

~ Lauren 

snippets & soundbytes {the good life}

This just happened:

My dad called to tell me he had been doing some baking and had a pie he wanted to bring to me at work.
Just out of the oven, it was "on the porch" cooling off. 
Yeah, out of the blue pie-baking from my Pops.

Would me and "the shift" like it and could I meet him out front to get it. 

Who turns down warm homemade rhubarb pie?

So, I waited out front on the second story of the building looking for him to pull in. 

As I stood there watching the clouds roll by, hands in my pockets, whining in my head about the cold and how I might as well be on the Cliffs of Ireland {insert dramatic eye roll}, I thought,

"Self, stop whining.  How many people have their dad bring them warm, homemade, rhubard pie at work on Monday night? Also, (Self) one day you will be standing on the Cliffs of Ireland and you will really know what cold is then."

One headphone in, as usual, this song had been playing as background noise whie I waited there until I heard this lyric:

I made up my mind when I was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again I lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in

Pie deliveries, a constant stream of music, few worries at the moment, travel wishes that I know will come true some day, maybe sooner rahter than later. 

Things change so quickly, take advantage of today,.

What have I been saying in the last few weeks and months?

Life in this day, be anxious for nothing, pay attention to the details around you.

Sound-byte lesson of the day:

This is the good life.

...and one more sound byte just for good measure...
because the blues is where my heart is at
because I should have been listening to Sara Bareilles for many more years that I have currntly
because this is just a damn good song



Enjoy ~ Lauren

Lovely

After reading today's Monday post from Bits of Splendor, I had intentions to share something else as my bit of spendor for the week, but then this song came on and I knew I had to share this instead.

It's another "love at first sound" song delivered to me courtesy of Pandora. 

{looking for late night writing inspiration, I put on Adele Radio and it didn't disappoint, not one bit}

For all us women, girls, ladies who occasionally and sometimes unexpectedly get distracted by our mirror images, in the labels sewed into the backs of our clothing,

or just the constant social stream & pressure of what is "sexy" or "trendy"

what make us "it-girls" and directs us on what  we "must have",

just listen to this melody, read these lyrics

let them silence that often sneaky voice of doubt, of self-concious, of ugly, of comparison

let these lyrics remind you of Who and in Whose image we were all created

I don't wanna be her
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can't be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing

I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me

Am I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely

{source}





This is my bit of Splendor that I share with you.
I hope you remember to be lovely just the way you are today.

~ Lauren