Dear Friday {Life Goes On}

Dear Friday, 

Where do I start?  

(sigh)

I don't know what's wrong with me, I hear this blog calling me and I have things to say but there's some defiant little self-sabotaging brat that keeps coming along and kicking me in the literary shins. 

I'm not any closer to choosing a new direction.  

I have this tick-tock calling of something (what?!)

something new that keeps nagging at me. 

I wake up dreaming of a life other than the one I'm living in...

But I'm in the life that I'm in right now, 

in the time that I'm in right now, 

in the place that I'm in right now

for a reason right now. 

Trust the journey. Isn't that what they say? 

(Who the heck are they anyways?)

Earlier this week, I googled "the best decision I've ever made"  and it gave me this answer.  A literary spunkarella that drew me in with her creative prowess.  Hooked.  I emailed her. I know she's part of my journey somehow. 
What did I tell her?  That I feel like I'm not even at a fork in the road.  I'm at a 20-lane intersection, clear of traffic, and green lights in all directions.  Standing there, directionless, the world at my feet but with an uncalibrated compass in one hand  and the map from the glove box of the Griswold family station wagon in the other. 
I feel like there's no cohesion, no lines, no boundaries,  and the expectations are blurry.  Yeah. Blurry.  I'm having a hard time focusing. 
Even now, it's not even Friday still in some parts of the country.  Hell for that matter, in some parts of the country there aren't even lights or heat or comfort.  I can't even get the Dear Friday letter in on time. 
Those are my thoughts, but what's happening in my life?  Well, one thing that is most than and more than worthy of mentioning. I've written about it before, but I thought I'd have more time to prepare my thoughts. 


LAST Friday, when I was going to reintroduce myself to this weekly,  a text message pulled/ripped/yanked me out of bed after just one hour of sleep.
Uncle Mickey passed away at 827 this morning. 
Whaaat?!  They said 3-6 months. We had what? 8 weeks?  He was just at lunch yesterday. I didn't go.  I thought I could just see him the coming weekend.  I called him the afternoon before to tell him that I'd see him soon.  He didn't answer.  The events of that day are imprinted on my mind and in my heart.  The scene that replayed itself every time another family member arrived to say their goodbye.  That's a blog with a it's very own blood shot, tear stained, big & beating emotional heart. 

In my family, we have a strong Christian faith.   We believe in the Lord God and in eternal life.  We mourn for our missing of one of the best  brothers, uncles, fathers, friends you could imagine  but we don't fall into sorrow worrying about his soul.  We prayed he would go before the pain set in and made his last days agonizing. Our prayers were answered.  It was quick and merciful. 
So...death is a part of life.  And life goes on. 
My week went on this week. Uncle Mick was one of my biggest cheerleaders,  so I didn't let him down. I did my monthly run, a 5K at Folsom Lake.  My first significant activity on my bum knee.  I made it - wet, sandy, muddy, slow, and lopsided, but I made it  and earned my favorite finisher's medal to date.

Wednesday was Halloween, I busted out a creative makeup muscle ...and I handed out 1,000 coloring books, 1,400 balloons,  and buckets of candy downtown.

Then I got a pretty rad, awesome, compliment yesterday.  Yeah, I said rad and I said awesome! Psyche!

Next Friday is the service. Next Friday may or may not be an entirely different blog.  However, next Friday will be further proof that life just goes on. 
Til then...

{Dear} Friday v.4

Dear Friday, well hello there.  I thought you might never get here, but you never fail me. You see I have finally resigned myself to your late hour, having made it through the day and the week.  Dear Red Wine, yes you, I like your sassy bottle curves and your sneaky little smile.  Mmmm...  

Dear Billy Currington (double mmmm...), if you could only see me spinning around this big candlelit room with a glass in my hand, well, that voice of yours is always doing something right.   Dear Sore Body, yeah, you.  You keep wanting to give up on me one muscle a a time, but surely and slowly we're getting it back.  No, no.  No more giving up and giving in.  We're both in this for the long haul.  I have to live somewhere, and it's not longer going to be a lazy garbage dump.   Dear Lynn, Jill, Ashley, Gail, and Michelle, thanks for the nods, the emails, the kudos, and the encouragement this week. Dear Aunt Liz & Uncle Tom, thank you for the invite.  Tomorrow's Cal v. Nevada College Football game is going to be quite amazing.  Somehow I have managed to make it to 31 never having been to a live College Football Game.  I think it's high time to do some jumping, shouting, and screaming!!   Dear Summer, I am sad to see you go.  I feel like we were just getting comfy together.  I can't believe you're gone again.  Like another lost love...*sigh*, but I have hope you'll be back some day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  You know how much I love you even if I sometimes complain about how uncomfortable you make me. Dear Family, we knew it was coming, let's make the best of our time with our blessed, sweet Uncle Mickey.  3-6 months isn't a long time, but it's an invitation to make the most if it and so many people don't get that at all.  Don't be afraid.  There's nothing to fear.  It's just going to hurt for a while.  Don't let it disable you from spending the few good days and moments we have left with him.   Dear Louise, you didn't get a warning.  No one should ever outlive their children.  I can't think of the words to say to you to help be a comfort, other than you have my thoughts and my prayers.  Dear readers, whoever you are.  Tell the people you love that you love them.  Whether it's the actual words, a kind gesture, a moment of time our of your day dedicated to thinking of them and simply saying that they're on your mind.  Do it.  Do it now, do it consistently, do it sincerely   


Hoping everyone has a great weekend! XO, 

Friday's {letters} v.3

Dear earliness of Friday, it's almost 4am and I have managed to paint the entire wall that's been on the to-do list for weeks now, hang the curtains with the IKEA wire thing I bought 5 years ago, and moved the big desk from the back room to the big room all by myself.  Dear injuries, yeah, welcome, that's what I get for doing everything by myself and after being up allll night long. Dear Sleep, you found me and seduced me two days in a row.  You seductress, I could not resist you and I'm glad I didn't.  I needed you like flowers need the rain. Dear Hot August Nights, I love you.  Dear Wildfires, I know that you're hot and scary, but I think you're beautiful and since I know the good folks that knock you down and keep you from harming people, I can sit and stare in awe of your colors and your smells.  It smells like late Summer to me!!!  Dear Sunday, well now, the 8 mile trail run that I signed up for, here you are and I am totally (completely and totally) unprepared   Well, I guess I shall run, walk, and crawl and even if it takes me 3.5 hours, I will finish!!!  Dear Hot Yoga, I know you've been missing me.  I've been missing you - a lot, in my heart, in my muscles, and in my mind. We will be together soon.  Dear SheReadsTruth, I'm behind, but I'm digging the Proverbs Lessons this go around.  I'll catching up slowly.  Dear Ashley, thank you so much for this honest post.  It was a good mirror read for me and I needed to see it more than you probably ever realized while you were writing it.  Dear Life, one day at a time, huh?  You're still teaching me lessons about all kinds of stuff aren't ya?  One day it'll all make sense. Thanks for the  comedy band aids on the hard days.  They're just what I need.   

Dear {Friday} v.2

Dear Friday, 
Today is the day we shall affectionately call "The Day I saved myself from myself", today is the day I put the to-do list on hold, go to the beach, chill out in the sand, take some deep sea-side breaths, let it all go for a few hours, and just enjoy doing nothing.  Dear Mellissa, thanks for being my beach date today, it's gonna be great!! Dear Tylenol PM, I love you, you did me right last night. Dear body, you got a break this week, no training, but next week, oh yes, next week, no mercy.  None.  It's time to get back in the game.  Dear new followers, thanks for stopping by from the GFC Blog Hop this week, I tried to respond back to all of you, but I might have missed a couple.  Dear Melissa, thanks for being a great host yet again. Dear Amy, you are worth every cent and then some - coming home to a clean house is one of the best feelings in the world.  Dear Brother, thanks for coming over and fixing up the few things you did around the house even thought everything you touched cause something else to break, shatter, or fall, I think I still ended up ahead of the game. Dear Politics, we're gonna box this year, and it's gonna get messy. Dear Zac Brown Band, I LOVE your new CD, and that's pretty much it.  Love it. Will you marry me?   Dear Big & Rich, I don't make it to watching music videos much these days, but this video and this song, well, I've always loved your sound and this one is just another one of my favorites. Dear Sky, you continue to amaze me and take my breath away. Dear heart, yes, that beating, feeling thing in my chest you, you're quite a muscle, huh?  The things that make you beat, the things you can and can't let go, the things that you endure through and come out better for, well, sometimes I don't know how you do it, but you do and you continue to surprise me. Faith.Hope.Love. 
"...I'm only one person, but I can feel it working, that's why I pray... I believe in better days."
Happy, happy Friday to you all,  <3

Friday's {letters}

Dear Friday, thanks for being a regular day off so I could sleep at night, actually sleep in, and let my body rest for the first time this week.  Dear Trainer D, thanks for pushing me, telling me to not to give up, and giving me the stink eye when I start whining and crying about how it hurts so bad and I want to stop *wah*...training after a long night at work isn't fun, but it's getting the job done - I'm sore, but it's a good kind of sore, let's keep it going.  Dear Leah, thank you for doing my hair yesterday, cutting this mess that's grown out like crazy, and putting in some more blonde highlights that I'm loving right now. Dear Hot August Days/Nights, I know I sniveled and whined for the last few months about how it wasn't a real Summer cause we didn't have any really high temperatures.  I get it now.  Yes, you win. *fans myself* Dear plants, I'm sorry some of you died...the heat loved you a little bit too much.  Dear Jackie, thanks for the sunglasses you gave me last year for my birthday.  True to form, I didn't find them or wear them until like three weeks ago and now they're my favorite thing ever.  I barely take them off my face.  I feel like I should be in an episode of CHIPS!!! Dear Randy Travis, you make me sad with all this getting arrested drunk naked laying in the road trying to fight State Troopers.  You are a classic, please get yourself together.  I'm going to still believe in you and just because I do, I'm going to play my favorite song of yours again.  For the 10th time in the last 12 hours. Dear Guy eating a Little Cesar's pizza in the middle of Starbucks right now...uhhh, that's actually pretty weird.  You brought the entire box in with you a 2 liter bottle of Dr Pepper, & you didn't even order coffee?  Uhhh, okaaay... Dear Mom, thanks for the invite to Santa Cruz tomorrow.  Yes, I'll drive.  No really, I'll drive.  I've been doing the driving since I was 17, let's just keep that theme going.  

P.S. One more thing in case you didn't already know:
 "I'm gonna love you forever and ever, 
forever and ever
Amen."