{Grace}

So last month,
after seeing an ad pop up in sidebars all over this little Blogsphere, 

I joined in on She Reads Truth's Prayer Plan.

Technology has made it so that none of us have any excuses anymore.
There's no excuse to not devote a few moments to meditation, Scripture reading, fitness tracking,
heck, you can even control your thermostat and DVR from your phone.

 If you go to their site you can get the gist of what the plan is and how it works,
but basically, I couldn't tell you where my Bible is these days.

I can't even tell you what color the cover is anymore,
so having a daily devotional delivered to my phone,
and then, in the evening, a reminder sent to me,
well it's the iPhone spiritual version of my gym trainer.

It won't let me get away with not showing up.

{I set the reminder for every day at 8:15pm}

No excuses.  See that.  None of that.

Growing up, this was not the case.
 Sunday Church services were morning and evening, Sunday School was on the regular,
Youth Group was mid week, and I went to the Christian School at the Church 5.days.a.week.

You better believe I couldn't have lost my Bible if I tried.
I tried.
I know I did at least a couple of times.

As if my parents didn't just look at me and say,
 "Oh you lost your Bible again, huh?
Good thing we're going to church where they have them in bulk.
Get in the car."

Mom & Dad, despite the arguments that increased into my teenage years, did right by us kids.

Even forced to go to church some days, I was given a great foundation,
an understanding, a moral compass that has gone off-kilter now and then
but has never been broken.

{one of many of my tattoos, this one I got in Austin, TX at midnight,
 a compass rose,
for my love of travel and my own reminder that no matter where I am,
where I go, where I end up,
I always know which way is Up & that I can always find my way Home.}

I have a Faith that I am not ashamed to speak about, but in this politically correct charged world we live in,
and maybe by the demographic of the West Coast that I live on,
it's not always an easy or comfortable topic to breech.
Nonsense.
I know, I know.

{a sign I kept passing by this week outside one of our churches, I liked what it said - common sense, Bible sense, just good advice.  Don't waste the days looking forward or behind,
live in this day today and have some faith that it's all working out the way it's supposed to.
A message that's been on repeat for me in the last few months.}

In my adult life, I've chosen my own way, shape, and form of expression my religion, my spirituality, and my Faith.  I'm don't "attend" church every Sunday, but I do on occasion.

Lightening has yet to strike me, my tattoos, my piercings or my multi-colored hair.

Dogma.  Yeah, I went to some of those churches where they preached that the outward appearance was more important and judged more frequently than the inward workings of what was being delivered from the pulpit.  

Back to last month, it was just 21 days of reading a verse in the Bible about prayer.

Some days I journaled about it, some days I just read it.

Some days, I didn't understand anything about it.

Honest.

I just did not get it and there's nothing wrong with that either.

What I did do, and what I had been doing before I picked up on the Prayer Plan, was praying. Hard.
On my own, on my knees, in my car, at work, in the shower, driving, before I went to sleep at night, when I woke up.  A series of life's events, struggles, lessons, they all brought me back to that foundation that I was raised with when I was a kid.

It was not for anyone else to see or hear, and I don't mind sharing this with you now,
but it was simply my daily or nightly conversation with God.
 I just talked to Him, no pomp, no circumstance, I just talked.
As it should be and because I've decided that: 

Prayer is like true love.

You cannot give it expecting anything in return.

It cannot be selfish and it cannot be for show.

You have to believe in it, you have to know it deep down, you have to trust in it.

{a framing that I just hung up this weekend on newly painted walls,
perfect timing, great reminder, so glad that I finally got it hung!}

As for the Grace Plan:

I'm excited to see where this one goes.

It's a Chapter of Proverbs a day.

That's at least 10-30 minutes of reading a day, right? At least that's how I figure.

10-30 minutes of "devotional", quiet time, and calm...
'cause if I'm getting all riled up reading the Bible, well, Lord help me,
I might need some professional help after all!

Grace def: elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action

It's not a word that has been wasted on me.
I can't say that I'm particularly graceful in words or in actions.  

I curse, I yell at people who cut me off, I can't stand stupid people.

I'm not incredibly patient and I say things I'm probably shouldn't. 

Listen, I'm human, I'm fallible, I'm no one's to judge but God's and I'm working on it. 

Aren't we all?

I know there's some other ladies also following along on this plan, and they're probably linked up over at Melissa's GFC Blog Hop too, so I'm linking up this morning and sharing this post with y'all.

Gracefully yours,

~ Lauren

a {beacon} in a storm

If you know me on Facebook, you've probably already seen this. 

I don't keep up with TV much these days, so other than the headlines that I see when I am online, I haven't been immersed in the nonstop news coverage lately. However, I want to share this audio clip of the radio traffic from the horrific Aurora, CO shooting last week.  Ironically, I sat in a movie theatre for nearly three hours on Wednesday morning, a sneak preview before the sneak preview for our local law enforcment community.  I sat there in the dark with a dozen armed off-duty officers while we watched a movie about a masked man who was a misunderstood hero who refused to give up. 

A quote from the movie "A hero can be anyone."

Listen to (this) at your discretion.  I have been a 911 operator and Police & Fire Dispatcher for 10 years, a police cadet and intern for 5 years prior to that.  Fifteen years of "exposure" and this audio was very stressful for me to listen to.  Ten years of taking a gamut of calls and being on the other end of pursuits, fires, shots fired, and fights by no means makes me immune to any of the emotion that comes along with witnessing, in audio or in text, the absolute terror of what happened in that theatre and in the very long minutes afterwards.  My thoughts:

I have so much to say about this...not sure where to start...this is all of us, could be any of us, any dispatcher, any cop, any paramedic, anyone who handles this kind of chaos on a regular basis...it's all of our nightmares...that was my first thought when I heard about it, how the rescuers handled it? How did they possibly do it? For us in dispatch, its not just about saving citizens and the innocent, it's listening to it all go to absolute shit in the background and not being able to throw enough resources at at a situation fast enough, listening to the body count stack up, not knowing if all the suspects are accounted for, and always doing all we can to keep all of our responders safe...it is nothing but fight or flight, the collective holding of our breath, but moving as quickly as you can. It's counting down the seconds, the minutes, knowing how quickly the loss of life is permanent if you don't get EMS to a dying patient. This is what I do, this is what so many of you reading this do, but it doesn't make it any easier to listen to. I hear the stress and the anxiety from the officers, and yes, the horror of finding a child shot in a theater full of other bodies. I hear them asking and asking and asking for more help, I hear their voices quicken, and the pleading in their words as they watch people bleed and suffer.  This dispatcher did an amazing job, I don't doubt for a second that she had incredible backup in her dispatch center with her.  She was a beacon in a storm...a constant reassurance, the voice that said "I heard you, we're sending more, you're not alone".  This is the recorded section of one very tragic, disastrous event that has the world's attention now, but this is the taste of the worst case scenario we are all trained to handle. For all those who responded to this tragedy in Colorado, may God be with you...job well done, may you never have to face anything like this again. For the families of the victims, I can only listen and watch from here and pray for you. We cannot keep senseless acts like this from happening, there will always be madmen, but there will always be the good guys, the officers, the firefighters, the dispatchers that will come along and fight the good fight, run towards the danger, and be willing to lay down their lives for another. 

{pin}

I've been participating in SheReadsTruth and the Daily Prayer Devotional - Day #8 was this verse which I read and journaled about just the other night, just before I started seeing the early morning headlines:

Timothy 2:1-2 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— ² for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

My personal prayer after reading that verse: God, grant the wisdom & discernment to those who lead this Nation.  Guide them, protect them, honor their sacrifice.  Let them serve you & protect us and our rights to believe, speak, and preach your name freely.  God, Bless America.


One constant I was taught as a child was to respect authority, even not so much as the man and politically my father was very vocal about who he thought should hold office, but we were always taught to honor the postion of authority that is how we learned to pray.  Now I extend this prayer beyond our just our leaders and decision makers and make it for all of the dispatchers, law enforcement officers, firefighters, paramedics, EMTs, and our Military servicemen and woman who keep us safe every single day and every single night.   I thank you, I stand next to you proudly, I honor your sacrifice.  I know that no amount of gun-control or counter-intelligence will keep all the madmen at bay.  Always and never simply do not exist in this world, but that will not keep us from fighting the good fight and continuing to sacrifice ourselves, in part and in whole, to keep others safe. 

For all the responders from last Friday morning's tragedy, mostly nameless and faceless to those of us watching from afar, but unknown and unseen, you each rose above and beyond, unwavering.  A hero that day was not just anyone, it was everyone.  It was everyone of you who gave their all and will continue to bear the emotional brunt of what you saw and heard.  Be proud, stand tall, and know that you did everything you could have done despite the circumstances.  Peace may not come easily or consistenly over the next days, weeks, and months, but I pray that it will come eventually for each and everyone of you.

WIWW: chevrons & {scriptures}

So, I simply cannot NOT share my favorite new piece of Summer attire with y'all. 

I have to confess I've worn this skirt three times now since I got it 10 days ago. 

I love this chevron print, the fabric is totally breezy and comfortable for these 100*+ days we've been having in California this last week. 

{blue tank - from last season - & grey chevron maxi skirt both Old Navy}

I really love chevron print anything right now in a serious, serious way. 

It matches with everything, and it is just flat out slimming. 

{yeah, yeah, I didn't get a booty shot, but let me just say that it will make your bum look good, which is nice cause there's that ol' rule about stripes making you wider.  Not so, just not the case with this skirt I tell ya!}

I even did Old Navy a solid and wrote them the first review on it {here}.

Really, at under $25 and then with a few coupon codes, I think this new fave was under $20 and free shipping too.  I love it!

{playing in new wine barrel planter, teal feather earrings from Charlotte Russe}

Outside of that, my long standing favorite trend for the last few years, is feather bling. 

I just think they're cool & funky, total dress up or dress down. 

{spotted feather necklace from Charlotte Russe}

Outside of jabbering about my new duds & feathers, I am still working on finding that balance between being in the moment and present in the day and finding a way to keep writing, taking pictures, and blogging.  Capturing words and images to share with the world has been a passion of mine for years now, but blogging for the last 4 years was really just for me as a therapy.

This blog now is a new chapter in my crazy life, My {beautiful} Mess. 

Since I've been branching out, linking up, and sharing my thoughts and daily inspirations, I've made some great new friends:

(Melissa @ Life of A Not So Ordinary Wife) & (Sharon @ MamasteNYC),

and come to find out all this writing has inspired

my IRL (In Real Life) friends to start or get back to writing again too. 

{pin}

Lynn (who just gets me)

Mellissa (my "Sisterwife")

Stefanie (who knows my dramas and always makes me smile)

&

Gail  (busy mama/good friend who was going to give up on writing until I started sharing)

I had been thinking about staring a new blog for a few months now, but a series of personal dramas, disappointments, and well, just life's daily challenges really prompted me to get back into it {and praying!!} sooner rather than later.

In perusing all the great blogs that I've found lately, I started seeing side bar links to

I wanted to get in on the next Daily Devo and well, just today they've started a new one,
{I Will Hear You}
This is exactly what I've been doing on my own and needing lately, so it's so much greater to have a group of other's to do this with and help keep me on track.

So now on top of doing the #julyphotoaday challenge I'm going to do my best to keep up with all the ladies @SheReadsTruth

Looking forward to keep on keeping up with everyone. 

Stay cool, stay classy, stay connected.

~ Lauren